Cliché right? Possibly, but does that mean the statement has no merit? If the Wright Brothers hadn’t believed they could make a flying machine, chances are they never would have. If Nelson Mandela didn’t believe he could make a change in the world, he would have never even tried.
The point here, is that believing in yourself is a crucial element to your success. No one can stymie your dreams faster than you can. But believing in yourself is no easy task, and there are plenty of things that get in the way of your own confidence in yourself. Many common behaviors that you may not even be aware you are doing can get in the way of believing in yourself.
Here are a few things you can do to eliminate self-doubt and reinforce your self-confidence:
1. Know your Purpose
This is, admittedly, a hard nut to crack, but it can be done with a little creative thought. When contemplating your purpose, think about your goals, and even more importantly, your values. Look at the things that are important to you and use them to guide you toward your ideal life.
2. Say it Out Loud
There is a lot of power in spoken word. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves just how amazing we are. Speaking affirmations is a good way to do this. Speak your goals. Tell yourself why you are confident. Remind your psyche that you are valuable and intelligent. And do all these things out loud. It may feel silly at first, but as you continue doing it, you will find that it becomes easier, and it becomes your reality.
3. Remember You are Not Alone
Everyone on earth has experienced self-doubt. The richest and most powerful people in the world second-guess themselves. So when this happens, remember that you are in good company. One key to believing in yourself is knowing that you are no alone in your struggles, and that, like other successful people, you can get through them.
4. Don’t Be a Lone Wolf
Having a support system is crucial. Sometimes, your self-confidence may wane to a point you don’t feel you can pick it back up, but if you have people around you to get you back on your feet, you will spend less time in that pit of despair. Having even just one supporter makes all the difference and they can remind you why you are on the path that you are.
5. Accept Positivity
Many people who experience self-doubt cannot accept positive words. Make it a practice to accept and believe the positive things that people say to you. When you receive a compliment, fight off the immediate reaction of discounting it and instead, say “thank you” and acknowledge the value in their statement.
6. Be Assertive
Sometimes, you just have to fake it ‘til you make it. Even when you are not feeling very confident, pretend that you are. Speak with assertion. Be decisive. Maintain an air of confidence. Doing so will convey to others that you are a confident person, leading them to trust your judgment and allowing you to be more confident in your abilities. If you keep at it, it will eventually become a habit and you will be able to internalize it.
7. Let it Go
In life, we will all face rejection. You will likely fall more times than you fly. You will hear the word no, you will be told your ideas are crazy, and you will want to carry those losses with you. But you cannot. Let the negativity go. Know that success isn’t defined as not falling down, but as falling down and standing up again. Shake off the ‘no’s and move forward, having learned from the situation.
Everyone faces some uncertainty or anxiety about themselves from time to time. It’s part of being human! I’ve had feelings of uncertainty or lack of conviction over the years. My friends and colleagues have too. Some people hesitate before saying or doing something and others don’t.
We are all different (which makes us unique) and face different challenges in life. There are some of us who are too confident. That’s not really a good sign because people like that come off as being cocksure, brash, arrogant, reckless, and heedless. Knowing how to balance doubt, negative attitudes, and arrogance, is an opportunity to be accepted by others.
A positive attitude can take some time because our self-esteem does not like change. As soon as a negative thought comes to mind, I stop it. Then I change it into a more serious thought or consideration.
Keeping a journal is not a “female” kind of thing. Writing down everything that you have accomplished in one day is helpful. After, the list is done I find it helpful to write down the things that didn’t go so well. You can then see the things that went well outnumbered the things that weren’t so hot. This can help you observe and check the progress or quality of something over a period of time. And of course every girl knows that a journal can heal our damaged hearts.
Another simple thing to do is call up some of your friends and colleagues, and tell them what you are trying to achieve. Building a support group or mentor team can be helpful.
Understanding your judgment of what it is that’s important to you in your life is useful. Knowing this will help you see what you want in life and it can also help you make decisions. Knowing this will help you ignore what is that others think you should do. It helps you to believe in yourself and lets you do whatever it is you want to do.