Dealing with Racism
This week, I was asked a question by one of our community members, that was incredibly important. Sebastian asked me, ‘how do you deal with racism?’ I know some of you are wondering how to deal with this issue, especially if you’re being racially abused during a game.
Everyone deals with being targeted with racial epithets and phrases during the game differently. Personally, I just laugh. I think it’s funny.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t find the words or language they use to be funny. What I think is hysterical is they think they are going to have any effect on me with what they say.
Individuals saying these racial slurs think that they are going to hurt me and throw me off my game or make me feel ‘less than.’ They actually empower me, because I know they are scared of me.
How I see it if someone is hurling racial slurs or sexist slurs, or any other type of phobic language at you, what they are really telling you is, “I’m super scared of you and I don’t know anything other than to say this, because I see it can make you mad.”
Someone only really knows you if they know how to make you mad. So, if they’re using that language, and it makes you mad, from their perspective they believe they know who you are because they are able to get a reaction out of you.
Don’t give these individuals the outward response, any type of gesture they can use as proof to justify why they are calling you names and treating you the way they are.
I don’t ever want to give someone that type of power over me.
Capturing Your Value
If I were to ask you right now, ‘how do you value yourself?’, I’m sure that I would receive different answers from different people.
Some people value themselves in dollars earned per hour, others by how much money they have in the bank, some consider the relationships they have, while still others value themselves based on physical characteristics like weight or age, and some people value themselves on the amount of hours they have dedicated to developing their craft.
See? These are all subjective ways to assess our value.
Now what is also subjective, is your ability to convince someone else to compensate you, with their time, money, or attention in exchange for whatever you believe you are providing to them in value.
Mental Strength Coaching
There are some really exciting things going on over on my end! I’ve been “officially” mental strength coaching for almost 2 years now (unofficially for closer to 5) but decided to begin formally taking on mentees.
I’m happy to be able to share my experiences with other players to help them develop the MSL mentality.
Right now, I’m working 1 on 1 with:
Earl Edwards Jr.
Over the course of this year I’ve had the opportunity to also work with:
Chris Durkin (Durkin joined the #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 34 to talk about his mentality and how to deal with the haters.
You can catch the replay here:
Griffin Yow (Griff joined the #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 29 to talk about his mentality and what it was like signing a professional contract at the age of 16.
You can catch the replay here:
I’ve also worked with Donovan Pines and a few other players across the MLS as well as a few players working their way up the ranks from College and USL; all fantastic players who have made the commitment to themselves to improve their mental strength game!
Episode 50 is Almost Here!
Episode 50 of the #AskASoccerPro Show is almost here, and I’ve been working on something really special with my General Managing Editor, Sarah Kallassy, to release around that time.
I really hope you’ll keep an eye out, I’m going to be sharing a lot of information soon about my career and how players are valued!
Check out this week’s replay and clips of the #AskASoccerPro Show over on YouTube:
Subscribe To The Podcast. We’re Now Streaming On All Audio Platforms!
What Followers Have To Say On Social Media
Thank you for catching up with me this week! I look forward to speaking with you soon and invite you to interact with me over on social media (especially Twitter, I plan on being more active on there moving forward) and send in your questions for the #AskASoccerPro Show!
Until next week,
Mental Strength Coach, MSL – Mental Strength League