Hey there, Friend!
I hope your week is off to a good start.
I’ve been busy on my end preparing for the upcoming 2020 season, even though I’m still in free agency, and working with my team (business) to get all of our systems and processes updated.
We just promoted Katie Niday to the Chief Culture Officer position within the company (you can learn more about that in our PSW newsletter here) and I’m excited for how we’re positing ourselves for growth here in 2020 and beyond. You may have noticed that I missed sending out last weeks MSL newsletter.
Ironically last week’s theme was “Self Honesty” and because of my inability to properly coordinate all the moving parts and updates we’ve been making, I didn’t get it finalized and sent out in time.
So today I’ll be sharing newsletter 010, but would be happy to send newsletter 009 to you if you would like me to.
Just shot me an email and I’ll send you the link.
This past week I was able to have not one but two great guests on the #AskASoccerPro Show! Hosting the first father, daughter duo from the Perfect Soccer community.
Speaking with them really got me reflecting back on the 2019 season and all the challenges I faced this past year…
As I spoke with Brooklynn and Mark (on The #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 055) about her recent trial and how she didn’t make the team, I thought a lot about my own current situation. I’m in free agency right now, as I haven’t been asked back for the 2020 season with D.C. United.
Not making the team and not being asked back are two situations that players encounter at every level of play, from the youth level to the professional level.
If you expect it to change as you progress through your career, you’re not ever going to be able to develop the mindset to move forward because you are going to be continually disappointed throughout your journey.
Now, you can take situations like not making the team and not being asked back and view them for what they are: normal in the life of a player.
I’ve always been viewed as an athletic player, but not one who is particularly intelligent or skillful. Many people put me in the only ‘athletic’ box and category.
Frequently, I’m only put out on the field to do whatever the team needs in that moment; there’s a problem, an issue, a fire, so they throw me in to fix things and then bring me right back off/out once the problem is adverted.
If you really think about it, it’s a smart short term tactic. If I fail, you now have your excuse for why you don’t use me, or can’t rely on me.
And if I succeed, you get the credit for being a genius and you aren’t forced to give me any credit beyond it being “lucky.”
Since I’m not perceived as being methodical on the field or thoughtful, thinking several steps ahead while playing the beautiful game, I get pigeonholed based on how people perceive my ‘game.’
Whether their perceptions are rooted in how I’ve played in the past, or how they believe I look in this current moment, or just their overall lack of higher level understanding of the game.
It can be very difficult when you are viewed differently than you perceive and know yourself to be.
What I want you to know, is that no matter what level of the game you play, this is something you will be facing. You can’t change what others think of you, only they can do that, it’s just not something in your control.
Taking Ownership of What’s in Your Control
Okay, so you can’t change someone’s mind. So, what do you have control over?
Personally, I understand very clearly what is within my control.
I can show up every day and work hard.
I can help my teammates both on and off the field.
I can do all of the things I know how to do well to the best of my capability.
What I’ve come to realize is that even though you do all of these things and do them to the best of your ability and skill, you may still not be rewarded, compensated, or kept around, despite your best efforts.
While that might be unfair, that’s the nature of the business most times.
I’ve been thinking about the past year, and how much effort and energy I put in over the 2019 season, how much I feel I gave to the club, the organization, and my teammates.
No matter what, I show up every day with the belief that if I work hard, do the right things and perform well, the efforts will be rewarded.
Now, after eleven years of professional play, I know this isn’t always true, but I will continue to act in this manner because I believe it’s the right thing to do.
Part of the reason I feel I continue to get opportunities is because the individuals who are with me in the trenches every day, the ones who train with me and see what I do on the field and off, they see and know my character on a day to day basis.
When you’re not making the team or getting traded, what happens to you is contingent on what a select few people decide for you and on your behalf.
While their decision is out of your control, displaying consistently good character and work ethic is always within your control. When You Hear ‘No’
At the end of this year, after how I performed and what I know I’ve provided in terms of value, the final response was, ‘hey, you know we’re not bought in on you and we’re not bringing you back.’
That’s never news you want to hear, you don’t want to feel as though all your effort was for nothing.
But what I want you to understand is that your effort wasn’t for nothing. You did everything because you make decisions on principles, you have values, you did it because it’s what you believe in.
You stand on.
Nothing is going to change the fact that you are feeling hurt, disappointed, and maybe betrayed.
Most importantly is the fact that you now know the truth and can use that truth to self-reflect and break down what you could have done differently and how you can better approach a similar situation in the future.
At the very least, you can use the lessons you’ve learned to teach those who will come after you.
Sometimes there’s nothing you could have done differently. Sometimes you did the best you can do.
Sometimes it’s because those who make decisions are insecure and can hide.
Sometimes you did better than anyone expected, but brining you back means they would have to admit to mistakes they’ve made. And in the world of professional sports most people aren’t strong enough to admit to their mistakes.
But really, the same goes for the real world.
We use this experience to learn and to grow, knowing that in the long run the truth is true whether you believe it or not.
It can just take some time for karma to catch up. Be patient. MSL.
To listen to last weeks show with Mark and Brooklyn, make sure you check out episode 55 of the #AskASoccerPro Show!
Included in this week’s episode:
- Overcoming Temporary Obstacles
- Why I’m in Free Agency
- Take Ownership of What’s in Your Control
- Going Over, Above, and Beyond
- When You Hear, “No”
- Brooklynn and Mark Join the Live!
Thanks to you for always giving 100. You taking on Zlatan was easily one of this year’s highlights.— Nathan Frandino (@NJFrandino) January 22, 2020
Brooklynn and Mark Join The Live | PS Clips | #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 055
Free Agency | PS Clips | #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 055
Overcoming Temporary Obstacles | PS Clips | #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 055
How Brooklynn Started Playing Soccer | PS Clips | #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 055
Going Over, Above And Beyond | PS Clips | #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 055
Overcoming Temporary Obstacles | PS Clips | #AASP Ep.055
Jalen Robinson | Perfect Soccer Podcast Ep.005
Brooklynn and Mark Sieverkropp Talk with Quincy About Not Making the Team I #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 055
Overcoming Temporary Obstacles with Self-Awareness | #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 055
Self-Honesty and Success | #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 054
This Week On The #AskASoccerPro Show
I’m looking forward to seeing everyone on Thursday when we go live at 6 pm PST/ 9 pm EST with the #AskASoccerPro Show over on Instagram.
I’ll be taking your questions and interviewing Earl Edwards Jr., goalie for D.C. United!
Please join in! Please feel free to shoot me an email if you have any thoughts or feedback
Looking forward to seeing you on Thursday!
Until next week,
Quincy Mental Strength Coach
MSL – Mental Strength League